Windows shopping: Eureka! Retired-teacher memorabilia

Spent some time yesterday browsing online–Windows shopping, if you will.

Enjoyed so much the variety of retirement memorabilia–not that I intended to buy myself anything. That’s the nice thing about browsing. You can enjoy nice things without adding to the stockpile of already-too-many possessions that need downsizing.

One particular set of items (buttons, magnets, mugs, shirts, postcards etc.), all communicating the same graphic image, really captured my attention.

It was a “mapped” brain, keyed with descriptions of what a retired teacher might have been thinking and/or saying on the (permanently) last day(s) of school.

In addition to totally agreeing with the drawing’s “no more” items– “No papers to grade” and “No more ringing bells” (except for dismissal bells)—I have three top “no more” items that are mapped into my brain:

  1. No more fire drills that are called at the most inopportune moments

(e.g. during a test; during an observation; during the winter when snow is on the ground and I’ve got my open-toed indoor shoes with insufficient time to change into my boots; when I’m teaching on the second floor, I’ve just eaten lunch and I am very pregnant; or when I’m getting over a virus and am away from my coat on a freezing, drizzly day.

And then there is my all-time favorite, in the case of the library, invariably when there is just enough time left in the period for the current class to check out the books that they already have in their hands, but not enough time for them to do so after the fire drill. No. Now there are two classes bumping into each other in the library. One ready for a lesson; the other ready for checkout. Ugh!)

  2. No more after-dismissal 90-minute meetings on the first day back from a short or long vacation

(Perhaps it was almost always simply an unfortunate coincidence that 90-minute minutes fell on the first day back after a holiday. Faculty room chatter said otherwise. Word had it was a targeted strategy used to ensure no one helped himself or herself to a holiday extension. Penalty for missing a 90-minute meeting? One-on-one remedial 90-minue meeting or independent study assignment—yes, that’s correct—homework for the truant teachers…)

  1. No more duty periods–bus, door, hallway, cafeteria; kiss-and-go…

(Take your pick; you name them. Any duty period is the pits. They’re all equally annoying, although some are smellier or more revolting or dangerous than others. Like you could gag on the cafeteria smells with garbage pail duty, or risk getting knocked over with middle or high school students in the hallway.)

Yes! Bless my mapped-out retired teacher brain! I am forever free of those burdens.

Click here for the mapped-out retired teacher’s brain assortment of gifts that inspired this post.

How similarly or differently might your retirement brain map out?

Posted in Retiremint, Teachers, Teaching | Leave a comment

Retirement lesson

Imagine! More than 1,950 years ago, Roman philosopher/politician Seneca shared a commentary on retirement.

“Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.”

(As a newly retired teacher-librarian, I personally agree! …I can’t imagine retirement without being able to immerse myself in reading.)

While his commentary is consistent with his being a philosopher– a man of letters–the unfortunate reality is that Seneca did not get to enjoy retirement–of any kind.

The other hat he wore stood in the way.

Rather than being permitted to retire from politics, as requested, as a result of his being (falsely?) implicated in an assassination plot against the emperor, he was asked to remove himself from government involvement–literally– by taking his own life.

Seneca complied.

(Whew! That is tough stuff!)

Fortunately, Seneca’s writings have survived, traveling  through nearly twenty centuries to inform today’s posting.

Now that I am enjoying a retirement with love of letters, there are other two pieces of Seneca’s sage advice that I believe will serve me well within that retirement (despite, in the second case, the masculine pronoun reference).

“One should count each day as a separate life.”

“If a man does not know to what port he is steering, no wind is favorable to him.”

Admittedly, each weighty quote of Seneca’s demands some pondering. …Good thing I have all the time in this world now to ponder!…And to find ideas from the books I read to lend insight and perspective.

What sage advice has guided you in retirement?

Posted in Literature, Retirement | 2 Comments

Happy Grandparents Day–Part 2

An only child and one of the original “latchkey kids,” I came home from primary school to an empty apartment, save for my sidekick dog and Kate Smith, whom I considered my surrogate grandmother.

True, Kate Smith was present to me only through our small black-and-white television screen. No matter. We had just moved to the apartment from another State, leaving my former babysitter-maternal-grandmother behind, and Kate Smith, a tall, large-framed woman, with a warm smile, comfortingly reminded me of the grandmother we left behind, the grandmother who used to take care of me.

My favorite part of Kate Smith’s daily television show was her singing “God Bless America.” Gave me chills. But good chills, if you know what I mean. I had confidence in Kate Smith. She was strong. She was confident. She was powerful. Best of all, she was always there for me when I came home from school. I couldn’t wait to see her.

When she sang, her voice filled more than the living room. Her voice filled my heart. With Kate Smith singing and smiling and talking—often in words I didn’t understand–I was not alone.  (…Neither was my dog. He enjoyed Kate Smith right along with me.)

Between the time I arrived to find my dog’s tail wagging for me and the time that my father arrived home from work asking how my school day went, Kate Smith was the adult I counted on. Day after day for a couple of years, Kate Smith was there for me.

All these decades later, I can still imagine her voice singing “God Bless America” and my other favorite, “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” …An only child, I felt alone all the time—except when Kate Smith sang that song to me.

In preparing for this blog, I treated myself to listening to her voice, digitized for the Internet, singing those two songs she sang to me after school, compliments of her television show. All these years later, now a grandmother myself, hearing Kate Smith singing “God Bless America” still gives me chills. Her singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” still gives me confidence.

I listened, too, to her amazing rendition of “Climb Every Mountain,” which speaks to me now in retirement. I will do what she so resolutely sings. I will “follow every rainbow” until I find my dreams (e.g. from the last post, to quote Joyce Rupp’s mother: I will “Fly while [I] still have wings.”)

Today is Grandparents Day. I wish Kate Smith were still alive so I could tell her how much her person—her goodness, her talent, her twinkling eyes and generous smile—made one all-alone little girl not afraid to come home to an empty apartment, not only because her pet would be wagging his tail to greet her, but because there was a surrogate grandmother to take care of her, an amazing woman who spoke to her in song and conversation.

Thinking about Kate Smith has been an amazing gift today. I’ve read biographical information that, when I was a little girl, had not yet been written, and even the life story that already had been written was not accessible to me. I’ve learned what a truly amazing woman Kate Smith was. How she was honored by Presidents; how her fifty-year singing career earned her many unmatched distinctions.

They say kids and dogs are good judges of character. Everything I needed to know about Kate Smith back then I knew by looking back into her eyes when she looked at me through the little black-and-white television screen.

I love you, Kate Smith. To the world you are the woman who earned many awards and distinctions as a patriot and a singer. To me, you will always be my beloved surrogate grandmother. (Pretty good for a woman with no biological children, don’t you think?)

Has anyone ever served as your surrogate grandparent? …Have you ever found yourself in that sacred position? (Bet you have, even if you don’t know it!)

Posted in Children, Grandparents, Latchkey Kids, Retirement | Leave a comment

Happy Grandparents Day–Part 1

Tomorrow is Grandparents Day– for some, a day to gratefully celebrate others (biological elders or not) who have “grandparented” them; for grateful others, to be the ones being celebrated as “grandparents.”

Whichever category you are in, it is good to ponder the title of prolific spiritual writer Joyce Rupp’s latest book, a memoir, which quotes the wisdom of her mother: “Fly while you still have wings.”

“Fly while you still have wings.”

Although no one, at any age, can presume on their wings, those of us in retirement, it seems to me, have a special opportunity—and responsibility—consciously, creatively, constructively, charitably—to use wisely those increasingly vulnerable, fragile wings for as long as they are working.

“Fly while you still have wings.”

Right now, it is not to some exotic tourist site to which I wish to wing. No, while I still have sight, cognitive skills, typing dexterity—and breath!—I am grateful and content to fly inward to visit the places where memories and desires dwell and to find a healthy outlet. To reconcile with myself. To make sense of who I am, where I’ve been, what I have or have not done. Writing is the indulgence and the blessing of where my wings will take me that I now seek.

“Fly while you still have wings.”

Thank you, most sincerely, for flying with me.

What are the wings on which you now fly?

Where do you want them to take you?

Posted in Children, Death, Dying, Family, Retirement, Transitions, Writing | Leave a comment

First Sept. 11th–remembering how terror hit home that day

It’s another September 11th. Seems like a miracle thinking back to how bleak the future looked on the first September 11th, in the wake of the unfathomable terrorist attacks.

That first memorable September 11th morning, I was at work in my publishing office, when a young editorial assistant, newly married and newly expectant, came to me, visibly upset.

At the time, I had no knowledge of the terror attack, nor did she—but she had just heard that there had been a terrible plane “accident”—that somehow some poor plane had crashed into the WTC.

The cause of her alarm was that her husband, who worked at the WTC, was not answering his cell phone, and she, as well as her in-laws, were seeking confirmation that he was okay.

Before she headed to the restroom to relieve her morning sickness, as she did more than once each day, we prayed that her husband had not been hurt in the accident and that his cell phone would very soon become operational.

During her brief absence, updated news reports spread throughout our building. We learned that the accident was a terror attack. We also learned about fate of the first of the downed towers.

When the expectant mother returned to my office, a few colleagues, also privy to her concerns, tried to minister her. Frankly, no one wanted to break the news of the first building’s collapse. Without alarming her, we asked which tower her husband worked in. She didn’t know. What she did know was that he worked on the seventy-eighth floor.

We exchanged knowing glances, which our young colleague was too nauseous and upset to key into, and prayed that her husband worked in the other tower.

Then, when the news broke about the second tower, news that she became aware of, her husband’s family came to pick her up, too upset was she to drive home to wait for some word of whether her husband had survived.

Truthfully, we doubted he could have survived, given the high floor he worked on, and the fact that both towers had fallen.

She was not the only one to leave the building. Everyone was given permission. So many colleagues had husbands, wives, brother, sisters, children who worked in or around the Twin Towers, that our employer knew that no work was going to get done; we needed to seek comfort with relatives.

While I was empathetic to all around me, some so frantic, some trying not to pass out, some at the nurse’s office for suspected heart attacks, at the specter of what might have happened to their loved ones, I left, shaken and shaking, anxious to get home, relieved that none of my immediate family members were anywhere near there. Or so I thought.

After spending a number of hours, along with so many others, in prayer at a local monastery, from where we could see the smoke from the WTC and hear the fire and ambulance sirens, I went home to call our children—just to touch base with them in the wake of this tragedy.

That is when I learned from our expectant daughter-in-law, due in two weeks to deliver our first granddaughter, that our son had a meeting at the WTC that morning, had driven through the parking garage under the building, but had not parked there. After parking a few blocks away, he had walked to meet his colleague who took a train to the WTC, and on his walk had seen the evidence of the first plane attack and witnessed in real time, while on the cell with his wife, the second attack.

“I’ve lost contact with him.” Our daughter-in-law was sobbing. “For hours, now, there’s been no word. I don’t know what’s happened to him.”

I was numb and speechless. Here I had been anticipatory grieving for the young expectant editorial assistant, thinking that her unborn daughter would never know her father, and at the same time, anticipatory rejoicing that our daughter-in-law and son were safe, so that our granddaughter would not suffer that same fate. And now, I learn that by a twist of fate, unbeknownst to me, our son had driven through the WTC underground garage moments before the first plane hit, and our granddaughter could have been fatherless. I was numb and speechless.

By nightfall, his wife heard from him. He could not leave the city. He was staying overnight at a colleague’s apartment. He would be back home when the bridge reopened.

Thank God. And all I kept thinking for days and weeks after that was that for all those hours I was oblivious and secure in believing that all was well with my family, our son could have been killed. And I would have been one very shocked, disbelieving mother. I thought I personally had nothing to worry about.

And the former English teacher in me thought, as I do so often, in literary terms. This time, in an adaptation of a verse from one of John Donne’s poems:

“Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”

And every American, I think, felt that way on September 11th. Every American no matter where he or she lived, whether he or she had ever been to the WTC felt the same way. Strangers or not. We all lost brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children that day.

…If you are wondering if we were correct in our fears for one particular young man–the husband of the young expectant mother…

Thankfully, we were wrong. He survived. After a time off for him and his fellow survivors, their company moved to another site. At their reorientation meeting, a bomb scare hit that building. The young man determined not to work in the City again. The couple moved to another State, after which I lost touch with them. I can only wonder how they remember September 11th and hope that he has found healing from the emotional nightmares—awake and asleep—from which he was suffering.

And although our son confided only to his father the hellish nightmares he suffered, reliving what he and his colleagues witnessed as they tried to lend a helping hand, I can only imagine, and try not to. In fact, I likely am one of the few adult Americans who purposely tried and continues trying to avoid watching videos of those events. Imagining is more than sufficient.

I pray no families will live that horror ever again. America, please bless your God…Dear God, please bless Your people who cry to You for help.

What is your September 11th story? In recalling, it’s good, perhaps, to remember what you, as well as others, thought, and did, and said in the context of the entirety of John Donne’s poem:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

Posted in Death, Dying, September 11, Terrorism | Leave a comment

“first day of no school” –one heart revels; another heart breaks

“first day of no school”

How those words made me smile when I read them yesterday, mid-morning. They were messaged to me, thanks to Twitter, from a new Outer Circle friend, reflecting on her retirement. As was true for me, her first day of retirement coincided with the first day of the new school year last week.

“first day of no school”

How I admired her cleverness in expressing, as I had never thought to do, the reality of our retirement from long careers in education by “playing” with the traditional “first day of school” expression.

“first day of no school”

What a nice ring those words had. A liberating ring. A “let freedom ring” ring. And those words put a smile on my face and in my heart. And I reveled in what those words meant for me. A school bell ringing a new beginning full of promise, though, for me, outside the school building.

“first day of no school”

… “no” …how much power those two little letters pack when inserted into the context of “first day of school.”

So many “no’s” had become the reality for us nine days ago when the first day of school for our colleagues and students became the first day of no school for us.

No more everything and anything that took us away from what we entered teaching to do: teach. And the idea of no more counterproductive bureaucracy that so drained us, interfering with what we trained to do, was music to my ears. No more!

“first day of no school”

And then it happened….

A few hours after reveling in the no more reality for me, I had a sickening reality check.

A mother whose child succumbed to childhood cancer this past Spring posted about the pain she felt on the first day of school—the same first day of school which marked our happy retirement.

She wrote about the sadness she felt when for the first time in a few years, she had no new back-to-school outfit to dress her daughter in; no lunch to pack, no backpack to fill; no goodbye kiss and wave to offer as the child got on the school bus.

And suddenly, in the reading of her post, I felt very small. And I wished that instead of my having been totally preoccupied with the self-centered retirement meaning of “first day of no school” as I had experienced it last week, I had imagined to think about others for whom “first day of no school” had a completely different–gut-wrenching meaning.

Yes! There was loss for us teacher-retirees on the “first day of no school,” but there was also a trade-off toward new gains–new promises ahead.

And so I pray, albeit a week late, for peace and healing for those parents for whom “first day of no school” doesn’t mean that a child graduated last June, but that a child will never graduate, having died too young.

“first day of no school”

I hope others, more sensitive than I, thought about those parents for whom the first day of school this year—and every year—brings pain. And I hope those others reached out to those parents.

“first day of no school”

For me, those words will never ring the same.

And I thank my new Outer Ring fellow retiree for sharing those words that captured my attention, ironically sensitizing me to read in a bereaved mother’s post another reality in those words, which hold a different meaning for all those parents facing the same first day of no school for their beloved children.

And thanks to that bereaved mother’s post, I know, now, too, that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

“first day of no school”

May the phrase someday–soon!— apply only to educator-retirees or graduates; never again to school-aged cancer victim children.

This month–and every month–how might we retirees help promote childhood cancer awareness?

What might we do to ease the pain of parents whose children, because of cancer or some other adversity, will never again experience school’s first day?

Posted in Children, Education, Parents, Retirement, School | 2 Comments

your head in the clouds?

Used to be that having your head in the clouds was a sign of adolescent romanticism.

Not any longer.

One week ago, on my quiet reflective retirement celebration day, I was sitting alone at a Senior hangout (Seniors, as in greylings, not high schoolers) when I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation at the adjacent table.

Contrary to what some youngins’ (pre-greylings) might assume about grey technophobia, these folks, two men and three women all in their seventies, were doing some serious techno talk, using all the latest lingo.

And the clouds their heads were wrapped around don’t produce rain.

And for the length of time it took for the kitchen to prepare my food, the greylings engaged in authoritative-sounding informed troubleshooting and critical appraisal cloud-talk info gathering and sharing.

Used to be that having your head in the clouds was a sign of adolescent romanticism.

Not any longer.

And as a newbie greyling retiree, my elders’ conversation was reassuring.

Grey matter still is working, wrapping itself around techno advances, using the latest lingo. Go, greylings. Bravo!

What technological advance has your grey matter focused on? Is your head in the iClouds?

Posted in Retirement, Seniors, Technology | Leave a comment

judge not—‘case I forget to flush

Every time I use a certain public bathroom, I am reminded of something I need to share to prepare my family and friends for when I grow older.

Hard as I try, I have a difficult time pressing the handles on a particular set of toilets. Always I dare not leave the evidence of my having used the facility, and so I repeatedly try, with all my might, to get the toilets to flush completely.

And every time I struggle thusly, I am reminded of a true story I heard at a long-term care nursing convention.

Seems as if a family was particularly grossed out when their elderly relative, whom they graciously sprang from a nursing home for a holiday visit, neglected to flush the toilet.

Not wanting to embarrass their relative, but totally disgusted, the family confronted the long-term care facility administrator.

“When our mother came to you, she was perfectly used to flushing the toilet. Why did you let her break that habit?”

The administrator smiled, recalling how often that same complaint was registered by other resident-springing families.

“All our toilets have sensors for automatic flushing. Takes our residents awhile to get used to not flushing. Sorry to say, some of them forget that when they go for a home visit, the toilets there might not be as user-friendly. Sorry. Next time, we’ll remind her before she goes. You might want to do likewise.”

Moral of the story:

Message to loving friends and relatives: when I am older and greyer and you spring me for a visit, judge not if I forget to flush. Not flushing is not necessarily a sign of dementia or slovenliness. My daily toilet digs just might be higher-tech than yours.

Oh, and same with the faucets. If I let them continue running, please remember that mine just might turn off on their own. Love ya!

What anticipatory-explanations might you like to offer friends and relatives?

Posted in Family, Retirement, Seniors | 2 Comments

Un-DINKed

Okay. I admit I’m not necessarily up on all the latest PC terminology. Please help me.

Last I knew, my husband and I were “Dink-ers” (Double income, no kids).

As of September 1, the “nk” still fits, but the “Di,” unfortunately, doesn’t.

So I ask. What are we now? Is there a new word (acronym) that fits us?

What do you think? ..Maybe:

Nink-ers—no income, no kids.

Not exactly true, since we do have some pension and Medicare benefits.

Maybe, then:

Pink-ers –pension income, no kids

Uh-oh..Too reminiscent of the McCarthy era?

What about…

Mink-ers- Medicare income, no kids

No?  I agree. Sounds like we’re living rich, plus the animal rights advocates would protest.

That’s it. I know.

Retirees. That’s what I’ll call us.

With gratitude on this Labor Day to those workers to whom we have passed the torch, and with gratitude on this Labor Day to a country where men and women have the privilege of working and being retired. God bless us all!

To whom are you grateful this Labor Day?

Posted in Employment, Income, Retirement | 6 Comments

Gratifyingly: no escape

It was the first day of my retirement, and there I was in a religious goods shop, drawn to the book section.

Because the section was, in part, behind the counter, I asked permission to peruse there.

The clerk apologized for the lack of organization among the books, saying that she was in the process of creating some order, putting like books together.

Immediately I swung into action, forgetting that I had just (as in by a few hours) retired.

Opening a book to its copyright page, I showed the clerk where she could see the subject categories the publishers had suggested, should she wish to use their recommendations.

Then she mentioned a book she, herself, was hoping to find, and before she could show me its front cover image on her phone, voila! I pulled the desired book off the shelf.

Looking startled, she asked if she had shown me the cover.

When I assured her she hadn’t–as she admitted she thought she hadn’t–she asked how I possibly found that book so quickly.

That’s when I admitted my advantage. Ten years of reading spines. Ten years of finding books that students insisted were not on the shelves, because, yes, they assured me, they had looked!

As happy as the clerk was that I had spared her the chore of searching for the book, I was equally affirmed. I might be retired, but the skills I gained are still useful to myself and others I can serve.

An unexpected, but very nice affirmation; an unexpected, but very nice retirement beginning; an unexpected but very nice way of continuing to be my professional self.

Without a doubt, the chapter on my work life might have come to an end, but I’m open to continuing unexpected past work-related affirming surprises.

In what ways are you surprised that your former work comes in handy to you and others?

Posted in Employment, LIbrarians, Library, Retirement | Leave a comment