Spent some time yesterday browsing online–Windows shopping, if you will.
Enjoyed so much the variety of retirement memorabilia–not that I intended to buy myself anything. That’s the nice thing about browsing. You can enjoy nice things without adding to the stockpile of already-too-many possessions that need downsizing.
One particular set of items (buttons, magnets, mugs, shirts, postcards etc.), all communicating the same graphic image, really captured my attention.
It was a “mapped” brain, keyed with descriptions of what a retired teacher might have been thinking and/or saying on the (permanently) last day(s) of school.
In addition to totally agreeing with the drawing’s “no more” items– “No papers to grade” and “No more ringing bells” (except for dismissal bells)—I have three top “no more” items that are mapped into my brain:
- No more fire drills that are called at the most inopportune moments
(e.g. during a test; during an observation; during the winter when snow is on the ground and I’ve got my open-toed indoor shoes with insufficient time to change into my boots; when I’m teaching on the second floor, I’ve just eaten lunch and I am very pregnant; or when I’m getting over a virus and am away from my coat on a freezing, drizzly day.
And then there is my all-time favorite, in the case of the library, invariably when there is just enough time left in the period for the current class to check out the books that they already have in their hands, but not enough time for them to do so after the fire drill. No. Now there are two classes bumping into each other in the library. One ready for a lesson; the other ready for checkout. Ugh!)
2. No more after-dismissal 90-minute meetings on the first day back from a short or long vacation
(Perhaps it was almost always simply an unfortunate coincidence that 90-minute minutes fell on the first day back after a holiday. Faculty room chatter said otherwise. Word had it was a targeted strategy used to ensure no one helped himself or herself to a holiday extension. Penalty for missing a 90-minute meeting? One-on-one remedial 90-minue meeting or independent study assignment—yes, that’s correct—homework for the truant teachers…)
- No more duty periods–bus, door, hallway, cafeteria; kiss-and-go…
(Take your pick; you name them. Any duty period is the pits. They’re all equally annoying, although some are smellier or more revolting or dangerous than others. Like you could gag on the cafeteria smells with garbage pail duty, or risk getting knocked over with middle or high school students in the hallway.)
Yes! Bless my mapped-out retired teacher brain! I am forever free of those burdens.
Click here for the mapped-out retired teacher’s brain assortment of gifts that inspired this post.
How similarly or differently might your retirement brain map out?